Three Men On Horses (Revised)

On a previous post I had a discussion with blogger buddy Adam about the sensitive subject of deciding to have children and he claimed that “wisdom” or “using our heads” should be exercised when making such decisions. It is my contention that man’s“wisdom” and “using our heads” is not necessarily always in concordance with God’s wisdom (in other words, “the natural man is an enemy to God”). And that perhaps less wisdom (using our heads) should be exercised…

My wife and I were discussing the wisdom of marriage, and that if people really understood what they were getting into up front (taking away any knowledge of the Gospel plan), they might think again about their decision. Granted, falling in love is a strong motivator, but we’re talking about conventional wisdom here, falling in love doesn’t fall into that category, in fact it often opposes it.

In reality, marriage and bearing children could be lumped in with other less than fruitful to the natural man LDS practices such as paying tithing, serving others, storing food, keeping the Sabbath day holy, etc. If you use the natural man’s wisdom, each of these would likely hinder your success and progress in this life, just citing survival in today’s worsening economy as one indicator of “success and progress”. For example, a recent story in a magazine highlighted a couple who had submitted to receiving free financial counseling in debt reduction in exchange for their story for the article. The very first expense this couple was counseled to get rid of was their $400/month tithing contribution. That has the natural man’s wisdom written all over it.

Going back to the decision to have children, we obviously know there are many and varying reasons why people might still be having children despite the natural man’s wisdom screaming in protest against it. I imagine much has to do with the natural consequences of uncontrolled passion combined with our God-given innate conscience which testifies that this is now human life and should be protected at all cost.

But you also have those who have a belief system which putteth off the natural man. This system demands sacrifice and requires faith, which is a belief in something that one can not actually see or which is not obvious, yet promises to be for one’s betterment. The woman willingly sacrifices her shapely body (in many cases forever more) to become a birthing vessel, she submits to being horribly sick, tired and uncomfortable and to crown the whole ordeal with a crescendo of pain, and that’s just the beginning. The man commits to providing a part of his earnings, personal time, devotion and to emotionally enduring all of his wife’s hardships and trials without ever having firsthand knowledge for himself of what it is like to be “Mom”. And all of this for the sake of the little offspring who will fill its diaper with smelly stuff, need every amount of help imaginable, rarely ever appreciate anything, eventually think you are completely off your rocker having been duped by your imaginations, and then expect your help all over again when raising their own children all the while acknowledging that while you may have done OK, they will do it much better (did I get it right Mom/Dad?)

Another thought about man’s wisdom is the idea that something that holds its value (i.e. Toyota/Honda) is good or wise and that something that appreciates in value is genius. That which depreciates in value is unwise (politely speaking). God’s wisdom isn’t all that different, but one significant variation is the timeline, God views things with a much longer one, eternal in fact. Mortality is but a blink of the eye so His wisdom requires a much longer term value to merit true worth. We LDS believers are taught that we come into mortality with nothing and that we depart with nothing except our knowledge gained from experiences in mortality and our relationships (those bound for eternity in our temples). Knowledge is therefore a wise investment, acknowledging that some types of knowledge are of far greater worth than other types. Of course there simply can’t be enough said with regards to the value of temple sealings and eternal relationships.

I love this quote by an unknown author: Three men on horses riding through the forest. A man stops them, he picks up some stones and gives them to the riders saying, "tomorrow you will be both happy and sad". They awoke the next morning, the stones had turned to precious jewels. Happy with the value of the jewels, sad they did not pick up more. Our experiences and the knowledge we gain in mortality are like the stones that turn to precious jewels. I am of the belief that those jewels with the most value are directly related to the experiences that we collect as parents. God’s primary role is that of Father (parent), and do we not desire to be like God?

What are the things of greatest value or worth to God? The scriptures most often relate “worth” to the written word (i.e. records that were commanded to be preserved throughout the ages). This sounds like “knowledge” to me. But we shouldn’t forget this one: “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” Also this one: “Children are an heritage from the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward”. And here’s my favorite part: HAPPY IS THE MAN that hath his quiver full of them PSALMS 127:5.

I find it extremely interesting that the greatest gift that God has to offer us (exaltation) involves eternal increase. It’s as though He has granted us these procreative powers temporarily in this test environment (mortality) to see how we’ll do, and will reward those who prove worthy of such eternal blessings.

As for people who are unable to marry and/or have children but desire these things, I know that God is a fair God and that he will provide a way. Maybe not here in mortality but somehow he will make it right. I don’t proclaim to know all of the mysteries of heaven, only to know that God is fair and loves us.

Finally, I view parenting as selfish service, if there is such a thing (not to be confused with “self service”). Service indeed (extremely hard work as anyone with teenagers can attest), for clearly these little ones could not make it on their own without help, without mentors. At the same time and in so doing I am hopefully earning my own rite of passage (after grace/redemption of course) to exaltation. And in addition, these children that we serve can become ours forever too, and all of their posterity forever and ever. But is it really service, if the one serving has as much to gain as those being served???