2nd Grade: Me in yellow, Duncan in blue
Our families started to become friends somewhat, but not much later my dad would accept a job in California taking us across the country to a whole new world in the wild wild west. A few years later, Duncan's parents would divorce and his dad and the four boys would move west, eventually ending up in California. My parents too would divorce, but not before Mr. Taylor and Duncan had looked me up and had arranged visits to renew our friendship. It is perhaps obvious what transpired after that, the friendship of two young boys would lead to nuptials which would bring these two families together. I would gain four new step brothers and a step father, Duncan would gain a step mom, two new step brothers and a step sister (later, much later, our half sister Sydney would be born).
Duncan and I in 6th Grade together
Duncan and I grew apart over the years, in high school our interests and abilities took us in opposite directions. Duncan was extremely athletic, it seemed he excelled at whatever he endeavored to do, you can't imagine a person with so many natural abilities and gifts. I would spend my young life wishing I was him, or maybe just wishing that I wasn't me, desiring gifts and talents that would impress others. Duncan got involved in Wrestling and dominated at the State level, I never realized how good he was until years later, reading about his accomplishments in a program at our 20 year high school reunion. I, having spent my youth on swim teams took to the non-competitive pursuit of ocean sports including surfing and scuba diving and with that, associated myself with the deadbeat underachieving surfer crowd. Surfers ambitions were much lower than those of the athletes. We were more interested in making trouble than achieving. Had I been born with talents of a different nature, I imagine my life would have taken a completely different path. Eventually my choices, the direction my life was heading and the subsequent disappointment in myself would motivate me to seek a different path, try harder and I would eventually turn myself around to more noble pursuits.
As adults, Duncan and I are still quite different. Duncan did well in college and went on to get a degree from Hastings law school and became a lawyer, continuing to excel at whatever he set out to achieve. He eventually took an interest in surfing and has become a devoted surfer, traveling all over the world, surfing in the most exotic and celebrated places. He has two step daughters from a previous marriage, he is currently single with no children of his own and that is his greatest source of unhappiness, his kryptonite. He is handsome, has most all of his hair and he is in incredible physical condition. He has lot's of free time, lot's of play time. If he didn't maintain his moral and ethical values, he'd be considered to have the perfect bachelor life that any worldly guy would want. But this model doesn't lend to well to perceived happiness for the LDS faithful with the most recent proclamation to the world which states "the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children". And so Duncan has his challenges in life too.
I in contrast have never been a quick study (not that I'm stupid), I am bald and rather unfortunate looking (not that I'm ugly), I am not in good physical shape and I have very little personal time to myself. But thankfully, despite all of this, I somehow managed to marry a beautiful intelligent woman and to have 9 beautiful (maybe not so intelligent) children. I always tend to have to work hard at things, nevertheless, I have always been able to achieve my dreams and to find a great deal of happiness in my life. I have learned over the years that while everyone has different gifts and talents, they also have different weaknesses and challenges that help keep things somewhat balanced and very interesting. The playing field is more level than it may appear, the grass is not really greener in other pastures.
The intent of this post was not to compare and contrast me to Duncan but simply to illustrate how bizarre life can be where the lives of two people, who are so vastly different, when put together in such a way can have such an intertwining and yet significant impact on the lives of so many others. But was this far reaching event really a mere bizarre coincidence, or was it fate?
